i think a way for me to be happier in myself is to process past trauma. i never properly dealt with anything bad that’s happened because i never spoke about it at the time i went through it, e.g. when i was a child, because the people who should’ve protected me were the ones causing the pain. similar to recently, i went through a tough period of letting people wear me down and accepting it as what i deserved. because i wanted to keep people around. it was very naive of me, and i think we all have that streak in us. i assume that a symptom of childhood trauma is naivety – you experience traumatic events and normalise them so you become blissfully ignorant to other potentially awful situations because you’re scared of the abandonment and being alone.