images: Sex Education, Netflix, IMDb
i’ll start with saying i don’t really know what to say. i don’t feel sad, but i don’t feel that happy either. all i can explain right now is a feeling of existing, with 0 clue of what the current purpose of my life is- in the least depressing way.
there are things i’m looking forward to, gigs like the 1975 this week, or ones which are months away. and going out with my pals etc.
but what about the moments when you’re alone- the times in between the things you look forward to… the things you have to endure, to experience *actual* happiness? the bits in between like writing a 4,000 word essay in 3 days because you procrastinated and left it way too late, or attending lectures and seminars when you don’t want to because you let anxiety get in the way, or scrolling on Instagram and delving way too deep in to stalker mode on someone who you don’t even know but assume they have the perfect life, so of course you want to be them and begin to self-loathe, or having to read a book you’re really not interested in. but, some of the ‘in between’ days can actually be worth it and satisfying, if we make good use of them- like turning the page of a good self-help book, or watching a really brilliant film (dead poets society), or, scrolling through funny twitter threads.